Finding My Rhythm Again, One Adavu at a Time

From childhood to adulthood, and then into motherhood, Bharatanatyam has always been a part of me. I may not have always been able to give it the time and attention I wanted to, but I never truly left its company. Dance has held me through some of my lowest days. It has been my escape, my comfort, and in many ways, a part of my identity.

But Everything changed after I gave birth to my two babies. Motherhood transformed me in every possible way - emotionally, mentally, and especially physically. My body had been through so much during pregnancy and labor that, at one point, I felt as though it had simply given up on me. The strength, stamina, flexibility, and confidence I once took for granted suddenly felt very far away.

Through all of this, there was one thing I continued to hold on to - my teacher.

Somewhere in my heart, I always knew that I could return to her and dance whenever I was ready. That thought became a quiet source of comfort: Bharatanatyam would still be there waiting for me.

And eventually, I came back. Coming back, however, did not mean simply picking up where I had left off.

There have been moments when movements that once felt natural suddenly felt

unfamiliar. My stamina had changed. My body moved differently. Sometimes, in the middle of practice, there is still a little voice inside me asking, “Can I really still do this?”

And then I remind myself:

I don't have to go back to where I stopped. I just have to begin from where I am

today.

It would be an understatement to say that this journey has been easy. Between a

demanding full-time job, motherhood, raising two children, moving between places and houses, managing responsibilities, and personal life, finding time for myself often became the last. Every time I start my Adavu, when body refuses to cooperate with I am reminded that showing up itself is progress. Some days are stronger than others and I feel like the dancer I once was, and on other days I feel like I am meeting an entirely new version of her.

And maybe that is the beauty of this journey.

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I am not trying to become the girl who danced before motherhood. I am learning to embrace the woman and mother who dances today - with a different body, a different strength, a different story, and perhaps an even deeper connection to the art and I’m proud of myself for still trying and for showing up again and again, even when life makes it difficult.

I am choosing to commit to dance again - not because I need to prove anything, but because it makes me feel grounded, fulfilled, and connected to a part of myself that I never want to lose.

Slowly, one step, one adavu, and one practice at a time, I am finding my rhythm again. And if there is something you once loved that life, motherhood, work, circumstances, or simply time made you put aside, maybe you don't need to wait until everything is perfect to return to it.

You don't have to start from where you stopped.

Start from where you are.

Maybe today is the day you hit your RESTART.